


Here for You

by RainbowTrout1998



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Casey needs a hug, Crying, Drinking, Gen, Loneliness, Sadness, Supportive Severide, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-10-24 10:48:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17702936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowTrout1998/pseuds/RainbowTrout1998
Summary: Post S7E01Severide finds out about Dawson.For once, he's there for his brother.





	1. Heartbroken

**Author's Note:**

> Slight AU? I don't think CF really specified when Dawsey divorced. 
> 
> For the sake of this fic, it happened as soon as Dawson's plane left for Puerto Rico.

Kelly had just flung himself down on the couch, beer on the table, Hawks game on TV, when his phone rung. He rolled his eyes, temped to just hang up, but on seeing the name on his screen he stopped.

_Matthew Casey._

It wasn’t that Casey never made personal calls – though he certainly wasn’t the most sociable person in the house – but something seemed _off._ It had just passed ten and _usually_ he didn’t hear from Casey at this hour. In fact, since Dawson had left he hadn’t really heard from Casey at all. He’d been isolating himself. Not that that was particularly concerning - Casey had his own way of handling things and the house knew not to intervene - but he did wonder what Casey had been doing in his down time. _Probably just construction._

_Yeah, construction sounds right._

He watched the phone as it rang out, and realized that if Casey were reaching out, he should at least answer him. Quickly unlocking his phone, he returned the call.

The phone only rung once, but it wasn’t Casey who answered.

“Kelly Severide?”

Severide frowned and nodded, “Yeah.”

“Are you a friend of Matthew Casey’s?”

The voice sounded bored, annoyed, as though it would rather be doing anything _but_ calling Severide. So, he nodded again, “Yeah. Is he alright?”

The voice came again, “He’s had too much to drink. He needs to be picked up.”

Severide was already on his feet, heart in his mouth, “Yeah, I’m coming.”

As he grabbed his coat, the man gave him the address. Some shitty bar on the other side of the town. Kelly found himself wondering what Casey was doing there as he drove to his destination. He couldn’t really understand what was happening - Casey had never, not even after Hallie died, gone and got so drunk he couldn’t get home.

He arrived at the time in record time – a combination of lack of traffic and Kelly breaking the speed limit – and he stared up at the establishment. The only reason he could possibly think that Casey would come to a place like this was to get away from everyone.

And for some reason that scared the shit out of him.

He entered, seeing the bar was relatively empty. The bartender looked up at him, and Kelly just knew it was the man who he had spoken to on the phone. He had the same type of arrogant demeanor about him. Severide glanced around, trying to see Casey – and finally saw him crumpled in a booth at the back. He started to walk over, but the bartender stopped him.

“His card declined. Didn’t have enough cash to pick up the tab.”

Severide glared at the dude, “How much has he had?”

The man shrugged, “Enough.”

Disgusted, Severide took out some notes and threw them onto the table, before turning back to Casey. As he approached, he looked his brother over – Casey was head down, face resting on his arm. The other hand was on top of his head, protecting himself from the world. Severide honestly didn’t know how to handle this – he’d been on Casey’s end more times than he cared to admit, first Darden, then Shay picking him up. Casey had picked him up once but hes didn’t remember enough of the event to know how the blond had handled it.  

So, he was going in blind.

Dropping into the seat next to him, Severide put an arm on his brother’s back.

“Case?”

Casey sluggishly responded, slowly raising his head. He stared at Severide, eyes half-closed as he slurred, “Sev’ride?”

Kelly nodded, watching Casey in concern as he blinked, lethargically glancing around the room as though he was taking it in for the first time. He tried to bite back his anger, _how much had Casey drunk?_

He had to act quickly as Casey’s head pitched forwards, almost banging into the table if he hadn’t been there to catch him. Casey let out a throaty groan, eyes fluttering shut again. Weakly, he brought a hand up to his forehead, neck bending at an uncomfortable angle as he relaxed. If it weren’t for the occasional whimpers coming from his lips, Severide would have thought he was asleep. He tightened his grip, glancing up as the bartender made his way back over.

“He needs to leave. He’s upsetting other patrons of the bar.”

Kelly glanced around, seeing one other man sitting at the far corner. He rolled his eyes, bringing his other hand to Casey’s arm, “Yeah, yeah, we’re going.”

He gently helped Casey rest his head on the table, worried at how listless Casey had become, before standing over him, “C’mon, bud.”

Casey moaned again as Severide put a hand on each elbow, doing his best to hoist Casey to his feet without standing him up too quickly. As soon as Casey was in a vaguely standing position, he groaned and slumped forwards against Severide. Severide did his best to support his friend, readjusting him so they could walk.

The bartender followed them out, opening first the bar door then car door. Kelly managed to get Casey seated in the car and belted up before closing the door, seeing him immediately slump against the window. The bartender nodded at him, handing him Casey’s phone, keys and an ice cream container, before turning back into the bar.

Severide shook his head as climbed into the driver’s seat.  _Damn, Chicago never gets old._

He looked over to Casey – who still hadn’t said a word – and was suddenly relieved he had been handed something for Casey to vomit into, because _damn_ did the guy look pale.

He reached over, rubbing Casey’s arm until it earned him a groan, “Hey, bud. Come on.”

Casey turned his head again, dropping unceremoniously to the side, still struggling to keep his eyes open. Severide let out a huff of annoyance, before leaning in and tapping Casey on the shoulder, “Hey, buddy, keep your eyes open.”

Casey sighed, chin dropping forwards to his chest. Severide gently maneuvered his head so it was leaning against the back of the seat, his eyes visible from where he sat. _Good enough, at least I can see if he’s conscious._

He momentarily debated bringing Casey back to his, but decided the guy at least deserved to wake up in his own bed. He took the drive slowly, not wanting to upset Casey’s stomach. Every now and again he would glance back to Casey, having to tap his leg to keep him awake. It took twice as long to get back to Casey’s than it did to get to the bar, even though it was actually far closer.

He pulled his car into park, turning off the engine and sitting for a moment before he looked back to Casey. The blond’s eyes were still half lidded, blue slits seeing nothing.

“Casey.”

He didn’t respond, so Severide rubbed his shoulder. Groggily, Casey blinked at him, frowning slightly.

“Casey, we’re home…”

The captain didn’t even seem to process his words, eyes shutting again. Severide sighed and opened his door, jumping out and crossing to the passenger side.

He ended up having to undo Casey’s seat belt and grip his arm to get him out of the car. He was drunk to the point that he hadn’t even remembered Kelly waking him up.

As soon as Casey was out of the car, he rested his forehead in the space between Kelly’s neck and shoulder, mumbling something he didn’t quite catch.

“Sorry, what was that, buddy?”

Casey didn’t answer, swaying again. Knowing the best idea was to get Casey in bed and lying down again, Severide made his way towards the house. Logically, he knew he should be worried about alcohol poisoning – he didn’t know how much Casey had consumed and in his altered state, Casey wasn’t able to tell him. There was no way the ‘always fine’ truck captain would appreciate Severide calling in reinforcements, so he knew he was alone. Not that he didn’t feel equipped to handle Casey – he _was_ EMT certified and had more than his fair share of experience with alcohol throughout his academy days. He also knew he could carry Casey with one arm if need be.

As soon as they arrived at the door, Casey raised his shaky head, “Kel.”

Severide tightened his grip, glad he had been handed Casey's keys earlier as he opened the door, “Yeah, buddy. I got you.”

Casey blinked, losing focus in the conversation. But he had a pressing need.

“Sick.”

They were still in the walkway, about as far from the bathroom as possible. Severide cursed under his breath, tightening his grip on Casey as he led him deeper into the house, “Hold on, Case.”

Casey heaved against him, but kept his jaw stubbornly shut. Severide banged open the bathroom door, before depositing Casey – probably with less grace than needed – in front of the toilet.

Casey moaned and brought an arm across the bowl, resting his forehead against it. He let out another whine, before dry heaving once again. 

Severide felt the urge to kneel beside him, one hand on his back, hoping to offer some form of comfort, “S’alright, Case. You’ll feel better…”

Casey heaved again, this time bringing forth a torrent of vomit. He moaned, trying to pull himself further over the bowl, squirming at the discomfort in his stomach. The lieutenant looked over his miserable friend on concern. 

Casey heaved again, bring up more liquid. Severide cringed as another heave brought it up through his nose, familiar with the burn of alcohol and bile coming back up.

It didn’t seem as though Casey had eaten anything, only bringing up liquid alcohol and bile. Severide continued to pat his back – having to hold his shoulders to stop him pitching to the side at one point – until the retching slowed.

Casey whimpered and shut his eyes, head dropping off to the side and leaning against Kelly’s hand. Severide gently patted his cheek at the awkward angle, “Casey?”

“Uh huh.”

He opened his eyes again, casting a weary glance at his older brother. Severide was glad that he seemed more aware of his surrounds – at least for the time being.

Suddenly, he was at a loss for what to say. Usually Casey would be the one to speak in these moments – the guy always knew how to speak in a room, how to ease the tension, how to reassure everyone. So, he just stared at Casey for a moment as his eyes fluttered closed, almost falling asleep sitting up.

“Casey, gonna get some water in you then bed.”

Casey opened his eyes but didn’t give any confirmation that he had heard Severide. Not wanting to leave Casey to pass out and hit his head – nor choke if he needed to puke again – Severide gently maneuvered Casey so he was resting against the seat.

He all but ran to the kitchen, returning with a glass and filling it with cool water from the tap. He sat back down beside his younger brother, rubbing his back to get his attention.

Casey blearily looked up, blinking teary eyes as he looked to Severide. Kelly raised the glass to eye level, hoping that Casey would see it and drink of his own accord.

But he turned his head away, mumbling, “S-sorry.”

Severide blinked. He should have expected guilt from Casey – the guy was basically a walking pit of regrets – but usually he didn’t say anything.

“S’okay. Just drink, Case.”

He held the glass to Casey’s mouth, tilting it back to allow him to take small sips. Casey drunk eagerly, and Severide knew the water probably tasted sweet. Once he had drunk half the glass, Severide put it to the side and stood up.

“C’mon, Casey. Get you to bed…”

Slowly, Severide pulled him up and secured an arm around his waist. Luckily, this time Casey was aware enough to wrap his arm around Kelly's waist and was able to walk without too much stumbling as they made their way to his room.

Once Severide had pulled back the covers, he deposited Casey onto the bed. Just as he pulled the sheets over him, Casey looked him right in the eyes and murmured, “S’Dawson’s side.”

Severide didn’t know what to say, “Oh, sorry – “

“ _Was_ Dawson’s side.”

Severide frowned, not understanding why Casey was talking like Dawson was dead. She was in Puerto Rico – though for an unspecified amount of time – and would no doubt return to Chicago once she was finished. He wasn’t oblivious to how hard Casey had been taking it but didn’t understand why Casey’s demeanor surrounding the issue had changed.

So, he _stupidly_ blurted; “She’ll be back, Case.”

Casey dropped his gaze, and his eyes filled with tears, and silently, _silently,_ he shook his head.

“She won’t.”

Severide’s brain kicked into overdrive, imagining the worst possible scenario. He knew Puerto Rico was dangerous – especially with the job Dawson was doing. Had she – ? _No._

He was prepared to jump on Casey, to bring the guy into a hug. Because there’s no way the guy deserved to lose another. _Why does this keep happening?_

But before Severide could act on his thoughts, Casey spoke up again. He only managed one word, his voice cracking, “Divorce.”

_Oh._

He didn’t understand. He knew Casey had been angry at the lack of communication, but they seemed happy once they were talking. He’d seen Casey’s eyes light up when he got a text and had no reason to believe the same wasn’t happening to Dawson. Casey had only just asked the Chief for furlough to visit her – what had happened in that time?

He couldn’t think of a scenario where divorce seemed like a viable option between them – they had gone through hell and back together, and always, _always,_ overcame adversity.

But right now, he was aware Casey had started to silently sob, body shaking with the effort to suppress them. His heart broke – even inebriated, Casey was trying to keep himself in check. Trying to appear okay, even though it was so damn obvious he wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry, Case.”

Casey didn’t look like he was going to move, so Severide awkwardly leant over and embraced him. Casey responded by sobbing harder, heartbreaking cries leaving his lips every few seconds. He reached up an arm around Severide, and, taking it as a sign that Casey wanted to sit up, gently hoisted him up and leant him against his shoulder.

He had no idea how long he and Casey were huddled like that, Casey crying his eyes out into his shoulder. The only time he’d seen Casey like that was when Hallie had died – and _Peter Mills_ – had hugged him. He’d never forgiven himself for that – sure, he and Casey had been in a rough spot, but they were still brothers. _Always_ brothers. 

But for now, the most important thing was supporting Casey through whatever hell Dawson had just thrown him into.

Casey’s cries continued, still getting stronger despite Severide’s attempts at soothing them. Only when Casey started hyperventilating, did Severide ease his head off his shoulder.

“Hey, Case? Case. Breathe buddy, breathe.”

Casey’s eyes found his, and Severide saw a raw vulnerability he’d never thought existed in Casey. Slowly, he sucked in a breath, which immediately came out as a sob. Gently, Severide kept instructing him, doing his best to help his friend bring his breathing back into check. After a few more attempts, Casey was at least no longer hyperventilating, and enough that he could manage the words, “Everybody leaves.”

And that brought a new round of sobs, though not as severe as the last.

Casey was still drunk, Severide realized. Even though the tears and water had sobered him up, his guard was still down, and he was vulnerable. He had no doubt that Casey would never admit these things if he were sober – but he wasn’t.

“Casey. I haven’t left you.”

Casey rolled his eyes, “You might. You have in the past.”

Kelly tried not to let the comment hurt him. It was true – he had abandoned Casey in his time of need. Hell, he had abandoned Casey in _all_ his times in need. And he’d done more than just abandon him – he’d borderline abused him. The whole Andy thing, Hallie, when he'd lost Louie… even when Casey had been promoted to Captain, he’d been too caught up in jealously to congratulate his brother. If he didn’t say he regretted it, he’d be lying. But he also knew Casey knew that.

_Or did he?_

He’d never explicitly said anything, but firefighters didn’t say things like that. They were as tough as nuts and didn’t need soft reassurances.

 _But sometimes,_ he realised, _that’s exactly what we need._

“Casey, I’m not going to leave you again. I’m so sorry for last time… the last times. I’m sorry…”

Severide could feel his own eyes well up as Casey peered at him, trying to figure out if he was being genuine. Severide could only maintain his stare, doing his best to _tell him_ that he was there.

Eventually, Casey looked away again as he sobbed. Kelly pulled him towards him again, gently wrapping an arm around his shoulders. This time, Casey’s sobs remained occasional and quiet, and Severide kept a firm hand on his shoulder.

Slowly, he quietened, and Severide glanced to the side. Casey was half asleep, head resting against his shoulder. Gently, he moved him so he was lying down.

The movement roused Casey, and he looked up at Severide with vulnerable eyes, “Don’t leave. Please.”

Severide stared at him in shock. Casey was fading further towards sleep as he slurred, “Don’ wanna be ‘lone.”

Severide’s heart softened, and carefully, he climbed over Casey, crawling beneath the covers, “I’m staying right here, Case.”

Casey shuffled closer to him, wrapping an arm across his chest and sighing. Severide stiffened at the movement, but eventually relaxed under Casey’s hold.

And he waited for sleep to claim the blonde.


	2. Mending

True to his word, Severide didn’t leave his brother for the rest of the night, save for the few minutes when he was _positive_ that Casey was asleep and had dashed to the kitchen to get more water, painkillers and a bowl incase Casey decided to do a repeat performance.

The second he was back in the room, he climbed into the bed and looked Casey over. Even in sleep, his brother seemed as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But he wasn’t guarded. And that made Casey look impossibly young.

And tired.

Severide felt his heart ache as he realised how long Casey had been keeping everything hidden, how long he’d been acting ‘okay’ and had only concerned himself over others. Even though there had been moments where Casey had been difficult to approach, he had always cared for his team, they had always been his priority.

_But Casey had never been anyone’s priority._

So, Severide vowed to change that.

He shuffled closer to the blonde, securing an arm around him and carefully watching his reaction.

Casey sighed and relaxed, curling slightly towards Severide.

Kelly continued to hold his brother, softly whispering reassurances until Casey looked as though he was finally at peace. Only then, did Severide allow his own eyes to close and for sleep to claim him.

* * *

Severide woke up disorientated. It certainly wasn’t the first time – or hell, even the _hundredth_ time – that he’d woken up in someone else’s bed, but this felt different.

He wasn’t hungover, for one.

And Casey was still snuggled into his side, for another.

As he backtracked in his mind, the events of last night came crashing back to him.

_That’s right._

He turned to look at Casey. He was still asleep, still looking tired. But at least he seemed relaxed… and only now that Severide could see the expression did he realise that it had been a long time since he had seen Casey wear it.

As he continued to stare at his brother, he considered the best course of action from here. If Casey were sober, his defenses would be back up, which meant he wouldn’t be open to much discussion. When Casey was hurting, he had a tendency to lash out – one which Severide knew all too well. But Kelly was more than happy to cop some verbal abuse from Casey if it meant his brother could finally get the care he needed.

But before he could come up with a plan of action, Casey moaned and turned into the pillows. A whimper escaped his lips, and Casey remained tense.

“Case?”

The captain moaned again, shifting slightly so he could see Severide, only half-opening one eye in an attempt to filter out the light, “Sev?”

Severide smiled, “How are you feeling?”

Casey shot him a death glare – somewhat impeded by only having one eye open – and pushed his head back into the covers. Severide reached over him, taking the painkillers and water.

“I’d have these if I were you, Case.”

That earned him another death glare, but slowly Casey put his head up and accepted the tablets, washing it down with ginger sips of water. As soon as he was finished, he dropped his head back down and tried to burrow beneath the blankets again but was met with a challenge as his own weight prevented them from moving. Without saying anything, Severide replaced the glass on the table and softly moved the blankets back over Casey’s head.

They slipped into comfortable silence, years of being close allowing these moments not to seem awkward. After a good couple of minutes, Casey opened his eyes and turned back to Severide, “Any chance of forgetting last night happened?”

Severide didn’t move, “Not a chance.”

Groaning again, Casey pulled the blankets tighter over his head. Severide sighed, “But it can wait until you don’t feel like total shit.”

Casey chuckled, “How much did I even drink anyway?”

“I don’t know, bartender didn’t seem to be keeping track.”

Severide’s tone was hard, and Casey opened his eyes to look at him. Severide scoffed and rolled his eyes, “I have no idea how you ended up in a bar on that side – “

“Sev, please. I thought we were leaving this ‘till later.” 

Looking back to his brother, Severide weighed it all up. Casey did look like shit, there was no doubt about it. Him admitting he felt like shit was also a sure sign he was hurting – and for once, Severide believed that it wasn’t just a defense mechanism.

He sighed, lazily reaching a hand over and putting it on Casey’s shoulder, “Yeah, alright.”

Casey didn’t comment on the hand, eyes slipping shut as he relaxed. Severide allowed himself to drift, not sure if Casey was even awake. He looked as though he could be asleep. And even if he was pretending – or simply couldn’t be bothered doing anything other than just lay there – Severide was fine with Casey catching that break.

So, they slipped back into comfortable silence, only the sounds of their soft breathing filling the space. Severide found himself thinking that it was nice, usually the tensions between them were so high that it was hard to just take a moment’s peace. Those times were usually reserved for the lake or smoking on top of the firehouse.

Just as Severide felt himself drifting back to sleep, Casey’s alarm started ringing. Shrill. Course. Casey groaned and rolled towards Severide, before propping himself up and leaning over him. He smacked off the alarm with less grace then needed, before slumping back down. He noticed Severide frowning, and reiterated, “Dawson’s side.”

Severide’s heart sank, “Oh… yeah. Sorry, Case…”

Casey shrugged, but the peaceful moment was gone. Pulling himself to a sitting position, Severide carefully looked him over.

He could see Casey had tried to mask his true feelings again, but he could also see the signs his brother was about to crack – or that his brother wasn’t going to bother for much longer. It scared and comforted him in equal measures – talking would no doubt do Casey good, but he knew how far Casey needed to be pushed to reach that point.

_Though, hopefully he realizes that he can talk to me anytime._

Fairly suddenly, Casey looked back up to Severide, “Want breakfast? You hauled my ass home last night, least I can do is repay you with eggs and bacon…”

Severide shrugged, “You know you don’t have to repay me anything. But eggs and bacon would be good… if you’re up to eating that?”

Casey shrugged, slowly sitting up and bracing himself on the edge of the bed. He took a moment, before slowly pushing himself to a standing position. Severide was already kneeling behind him, in case Casey wavered, but he was steady enough as he looked down and noticed the clothes he was wearing.

Severide didn’t miss the sharp wince.

“Why don’t I get breakfast started, you go have a shower? You’ll probably feel better afterwards as well.”

Casey seemed to consider his offer, squinting at him. Then, he nodded, “Yeah, thanks.”

Severide gently clapped him on the shoulder as he walked past, watching Casey heading towards his dresser to gather clothes to change into. Knowing Casey deserved his privacy, Severide made his way down to the kitchen.

As soon as he got there, he looked around the room. He hadn’t paid it much attention last night while he was hauling Casey towards the bathroom, nor during either of his brief trips to collect up whatever his brother might need. But now he could see the extent of Casey’s problems. Casey’s apartment was usually spick and span – even after Katya had been shot, it only took him a few hours to have the entire place so clean it looked new. So, a single item out of place was a good hint Casey was struggling.

Most of his apartment looked untouched and cold. Which in itself, wasn’t worrying. There was a dirty pan in the sink – again, while Casey would usually have washed it as soon as he was finished with dinner, Severide supposed he could have left it for _one_ night.

But the empty beer bottles on the countertop? Yeah, those were concerning.

_As was the smashed one by the bin._

Severide didn’t know if it were there because Casey had simply missed the bin, or because his brother had thrown it. Then, he realised it didn’t matter. Casey was hurting and that was all there was too it.

Severide quickly cleared up the bottles – sweeping up the smashed one – and chucked them in the bin. He didn’t need Casey to know he had seen them, and he wasn’t worried about Casey’s long-term consumption, he was confident this binge was a once-off.

By the time he was finished with that, he could no longer hear Casey in the shower and knew he would be down soon. He didn’t know if Casey would remember the state he left his apartment in – and he wasn’t going to remind him.

But as he was moving towards the fridge to check its contents, he saw something so obvious he had no idea how he hadn’t seen it before.

There, on Casey’s dark brown table, was a pile of _very white_ papers and a vanilla folder.

_Oh, shit._

Severide felt himself gravitating towards it, seeing the words in big print at the top.

_Final Dissolution of Marriage._

His heart leapt into his mouth as he gaped at it – he had ben hoping that Casey’s words had been unfounded, based on drunken thoughts that ultimately meant nothing. Some stupid comment Dawson had made that had then been taken out of context by Casey’s addled brain.

_Clearly not, then._

Too late, he heard movement behind him. Spinning around – like a freshman caught having sex behind the gym – he saw Casey. He had shaven and done the best to make himself look presentable, but Severide could see the desolate expression in his eyes.  

“Casey. I’m sorry – “

Casey just shrugged, moving towards the table, “You knew anyway… it is what it is.”

His voice was tight, betraying his true emotions. Casey was hurting. Badly.

Severide struggled to think, desperate for something to say. But he could only watch as Casey started getting out a pan, lighting the stove and starting to prepare their breakfast.

Quickly, Severide packed away the papers – amazed when he could actually touch them and they weren’t some sick illusion his brain had cooked up – and put them to the side. Casey didn’t need the reminder as they ate breakfast.

They worked in sync to prepare the meal and set the table. Casey’s fry-ups were always good, and Severide had no problem tucking in as they sat down.

Casey though, sat staring at his meal, throat working overtime as he swallowed back tears. Severide noticed and put down his fork.

“Case…”

He didn’t know what else to say, and his heart clenched as Casey moved one arm to rest on the table and brought the other to his head, swallowing again.

“Sorry.”

Casey’s voice broke in the single word, and for a moment Severide wondered what the hell he thought he should be sorry for. But this was Casey.

“I don’t know what to say, man.”

Matt nodded, letting out a small chuckle that sounded more like a sob. Severide, suddenly feeling as though the distance between them was too great, shuffled to sit beside Casey.

“Matt… what happened?”

Casey’s eyes found his, and Severide could see the tears waiting to spill over. Bringing one hand to his shoulder, Severide gently squeezed.

The brotherly gesture was enough to bring Casey out of his reverie, and he moved a hand up to scrub his eyes, leaving it firmly planted on his forehead as he leant into it. But he didn’t move an inch away from Severide, leaning further into his steady hand.

“Gabs – Gabby came back to Chicago… last night.”

That was all he could get out before another chocked sob made its way out of his throat, and he moved his other hand to cover his mouth. Severide could see the distress Casey was in, anxious about appearing weak and crying. Gently, he prized Casey’s hands away from his face, giving them a gentle squeeze. Casey grunted in response, taking one of his hands back to scrub his nose roughly. But it returned to Severide’s straight after, and despite where it had just been and the substance that now covered it, there was no way Severide was going to give Casey any reason to believe he wasn’t there for him.

Casey cleared his throat, indicating that he was ready to keep going, “She was trying to leave the apartment before I got home… she had all her stuff packed. Said that the position she had had turned into an ongoing one…”

He swallowed, still not making eye contact with Severide as he continued, “Then she said she was taking it. She didn’t even ask what I thought… just that she was leaving. Then she asked me to come with her…”

Casey broke off again, this time letting out a bitter chuckle. Severide wasn’t sure if he was even keeping up… where’d the divorce come from if she’d asked Casey to go with her? And why had she tried to leave before he got home? It didn’t make much sense.

Still, Severide gave Casey’s hands and shoulder another supportive squeeze.

Casey’s breath hitched as he took it, “She asked me to go with her… and I said no.”

That broke him, and Casey openly let out sobs as Severide brought him in tighter, “I said no, Kelly… why’d I say no?”

Severide didn’t respond, not while Casey was sobbing. He rocked him gently, running a hand up and down his back and just waiting until his friend was ready to speak again.

_What was Dawson thinking?_

Once Casey’s sobs ebbed, he pulled away and wiped at his face. This time, Severide reached for the napkin and handed it to Casey, who shot him a grateful look and blew his nose.

He also cleaned up his face, before clearing his throat and propping his head up on his hand. Blowing a breath through his lips, “Then, she left. She didn’t want to be dropped off at the airport, said it would be easier for her to just leave…”

Casey sniffed, and Severide’s hand returned to his back, “Then… half an hour later, there was a knock at my door…”

He gestured to where Severide had put the papers and brought both hands up to his head. Rocking forwards, he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and sobbed. Not wanting Matt to break down again, Severide clasped his shoulder tightly.

“Casey… I’m so sorry. I had no idea it would end like this…”

Casey let out another bitter laugh, harshly slapping Severide’s hand off his shoulder, “How could you? If I’d known…”

Then, it morphed back into sobbing, and Severide gently pulled him back into a hug. Casey murmured apologies into his chest, hiccupping every now and again.

“S’okay, buddy… it’s okay…”

Casey’s sobs slowed again, and he pulled away, running a hand over his face and staring at Severide, “Sorry, Kelly… sorry.”

“Casey, it’s fine, really. It’s okay – “

Casey shook his head, “Snapping at you doesn’t help…”

Shrugging, trying to ease his friend’s stress, “You’re right, it doesn’t. But you’re hurting, so it’s okay…”

Slowly Casey nodded, clinging to Severide again as though he were a lifeline. Severide just rocked him, knowing that he wasn’t yet capable of words. Slowly but surely, Severide felt him relax in his grasp.

He thought Casey was about to fall asleep, so soothingly, he rubbed his back and nudged him, “Casey? Let’s move to the couch. It will be more comfortable.”

Casey nodded, but as soon as he was on his feet he stumbled and Severide realised he’d have to help him. Unquestioningly, without even considering it, Severide wrapped an arm around him and guided him with care. Once Casey was sitting – and leaning forwards numbly – Severide sat beside him, immediately resting a hand on his back, not wanting to lose the physical contact.

Casey was staring at the TV, throat working again to bite back tears. Kelly knew he should say something, but he honestly had no idea _what._ Every time he thought of something, his mind immediately dismissed it.

“Casey… I’m so sorry. For Dawson. For everything.”

Casey didn’t answer for a moment, before he shrugged dismissively, “S’my fault, anyway.”

At that, Severide’s head jerked up, “What?”

Casey frowned up at him, “It’s my fault Gabby left.”

Kelly shook his head, “No, Casey. It’s not your fault. You know that, right?”

When his brother didn’t respond, Severide shook his head again, “Casey. Dawson leaving is not your fault. How can you think that?”

He paused, head to one side, “I didn’t want to go to Puerto Rico.”

Severide scoffed, “You think Dawson leaving you because you didn’t want to uproot your life… is your fault?”

Casey nodded.

“Matt, I’m sorry… but you know that’s bullshit, right?”

Severide didn’t need to hear confirmation from Casey to know he was listening.

“Something like that – like moving to a little _island_ – she can’t end your marriage over it. She can’t just say – if you don’t move here you don’t love me. You get that, right, Casey?”

The truck captain didn’t respond, and Severide rolled his eyes, “If you had said you need to stay in Chicago… and you wanted her to stay, you know she wouldn’t have. Would you have divorced her over that?”

At the word ‘divorce’, Casey flinched. But slowly, he shook his head

“Right. So, it’s reasonable Dawson does? You know I loved Dawson, but she was a handful – and don’t think you can deny that, Case. You knew what she could be like. And we all have faults – but this? It isn’t yours.”

Casey considered his words, and Severide could see they were sinking in, but Casey’s habit of self-blame was not going to be tamed so easily, “The only reason she went to Puerto Rico in the first place was because I didn’t want her to have a baby…”

Severide rolled his eyes, “Casey, people don’t move to – “

But Casey wasn’t finished, “I mean, my whole life I’ve wanted to be a dad… that’s why I broke up with Hallie and then Gabby – “

“Casey, I’m going to stop you right there… you didn’t want Dawson dying in childbirth. That’s a perfectly reasonable thing.”

Casey groaned, scrubbing his hands through his hair. He was frustrated, Severide got it, but he also knew that Casey needed more reassurance, or there would eventually be a replay of last night. He also knew that the reassurances weren’t spurious – he genuinely did believe Casey had done very little wrong.  

“It was Gabby’s choice to make – it was her body – “

“That’s shit too, and you know it. It was a decision you _both_ needed to make and you _both_ needed to agree on. You needed to look into all options – which _you_ did. I don’t mean to put blame solely on Dawson, but she was in the wrong. If her leaving was over you looking into adoption, then it’s not reasonable. You know that.”

Casey let out a huff and flung his head back, staring at the ceiling. Severide could see the tears in his eyes, but Casey was stubbornly refusing to let them go.

Severide sighed. He had opinions on Dawson – he’d had them for a long time. She and Shay had been best friends, but they’d certainly had their arguments, and Severide often heard Shay’s end. In reality, Dawson had been quick to anger in work, and her actions had often got her in trouble. Casey knew that as much as Severide – but his love blinded him from how volatile she could be. Gabby could be cruel and manipulative. She could also be loving. And that was where it was tricky.  

Severide knew Casey wasn’t ready to hear what he thought of Dawson, and pushing it wouldn’t work. Either way, it wasn’t what Casey needed.

“Casey. As much as you’d like to find a reason everything didn’t work out – it’s nothing you did. There might be an element of you and Dawson not being compatible – of you and Dawson naturally opposing each other. And that’s okay – that happens. Casey, the point is… it wasn’t your fault.”

Slowly, Casey drew in a shuddering breath, letting it out as a couple of small sobs. He closed his eyes, and a few strained whimpers escaping his throat.

Gently, Severide leant over and pulled Casey against him, holding him gently. He felt relieved as Casey accepted the comfort, leaning in and wrapping his own arm around Severide. Kelly just held him, waiting for Casey to relax again.  

He didn’t let go once Casey’s cries ended, only adjusted them and reached for the remote. He turned the TV on, acting nonchalant as Casey turned to him and frowned.

“What are you doing?”

Severide shrugged and flicked the channel, “Catch the replay of the Blackhawks game. Or just watch random crap. Doesn’t really matter. Point is I’m staying with you.”

For a moment, Severide saw Casey relax, then he was tense again, “You don’t have to – “

Severide put his feet up, “Shut up, Casey.”

Slowly, Casey relaxed again beside him.

And for the rest of the day, Severide sat beside his brother. Occasionally, Casey would start crying again, and Kelly would tenderly hug him. Other times, they discussed calls, the firehouse. They filled the empty space with mindless chatter about the game, and they talked about Dawson. They talked about Dawson and the divorce, they talked about their own friendship.

Mostly, they talked about how Casey would be okay.

And for the first time, Casey believed him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that end was good enough! I honestly could have written another chapter... that said, there is going to be a follow up fic to this :)


End file.
